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AJ has officially discovered the type of girl I like and for years I couldn't put it into words so eloquent:
"Weird, skinny girls."
Sooooooo true.
Lazy eye? Awesome.
Bad teeth? I'd hit it.
Buck teeth and glasses? Let's sex. |
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I think the CBC blew half its budget on The Tudors because the whole time that I lived in Toronto, every bus and every subway car was plastered with Jonathan Rhys Meyers' pouting face and ten yards of cleavage. I believe we've all learned a valuable lesson here, and that is William Cecil may have been a crack statesman, but if he wants to me to give a shit about him he better start hitting the gym.
stoorree |
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Check it out:
http://sighris.livejournal.com/234142.html
- also on the AGA web-site!Current Mood:  excited |
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As promised, here is Part 2.
The Incroyables and Merveilleuses are my favorites, gosh I tell ya. What they wore was once a political statement, but then they gave up on making statements, and that was a statement. Or some such.
stoorree |
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I have almost all the ingredients for pumpkin lasagna, I have cornbread in the oven that I will dry out and give Christian to use for his family recipe sausage stuffing. I have lady apples, clementines, and cranberries to stuff in the turkey, plus a ton of garlic, plus some local carrots. Still need to get celery and a leek (instead of an onion, I thought I'd throw down some leek in the turkey roasting pan). Need to defrost bacon for turkey. Have a zillion bottles of Trader Joe's wine to baste turkey with. Probably need more butter.
Tomorrow: pick up turkey in West Bridgewater or Duxbury. Duxbury = five bucks cheaper, but longer drive, but in my environmentally-sound car, so it's like burning fifty cents in gas, lololol. I might go to Duxbury. Also need to get gravy packets. Shit, gravy packets. Every year for the past few years, I've been burned by pre-made gravy, both from Asack's and Bongi's (i.e. where I am going to go get a turkey tomorrow). Good ole' McCormick's packets were what my grandma used (well, when it was called Durkee) and she'd add pan drippings and I think wine. I think. My mom definitely added wine. My grandma's also the one who'd put slices of bacon on top of the turkey. It's pretty much the best thing and Neil can go to hell with his "but I like basting the turkey in a pound of melted butter!" nonsense. BACON, BITCHES. |
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Nov. 22nd, 2009 @ 06:40 pm
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Stupid brain should shut up for a moment, I hate racing thoughts... (Add depression for extra "UGH")
Seeing if Sarah will call me back, I wanted to touch base but she's been unreachable.
Going to see this Monologue show, I hope it's good, I need something to pick me up from End-of-Fantasy-Game-Depression cause I finished ff5, again. You get this depression because you've been learning the towns/characters and leveling your characters then its over and you'll never see them again. Doesn't help you are treated to lonely music while the credits drift off into space.
Then busy week at work.
Black Friday is coming as well as THXGVNG! I hope I get to see her before then. |
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As most people with half a brain know, Twilight is a steaming pile of worm loaded shit, but ladies and gents, I really had no idea just how BIG a pile of steaming, worm loaded shit twilight is.
I am now sure of two things. Rose, you are a masochist, and a good portion of the american, and probably european and japanese public need to be euthanized. STAT.
God, where do I even begin. I expected to see New Moon, and walk away with about 68 new horrible cheesy one liners, and several belly laughs. It was all that and more, folks. I have enough venom for this series to melt the entire country of Brazil.
The "plot" of the movie (I really do use the word plot VERY loosely) is Bella and Edward are dating, but then he breaks up with her and moves away for "her own safety". Then she spends the rest of the movie (about 85% of it)...
-sitting in a chair being inconsolably sad
-giving the constantly shirtless (not even fucking kidding, he DOES NOT wear a shirt, except when he sleeps) native american friend blue balls
-sending HUNDREDS of emails to Edwards sister, that don't actually send
-having SCREAMING FITS while she sleeps. As if she was once anally and orally raped by a pride of lions, and she's having night terrors because of it. Not. Even. Exaggerating.
Ok, so backtracking a bit to the inconsolably sad part. They show her sitting in a chair looking out a window for four months. FOUR MONTHS. Then when her dad says her behavior is disturbing, and suggests that she should go back to live with her mother, she insists that she MUST stay, even though Edward isn't coming back. So to show she's still capable of being a human being (that's a fucking stretch) she goes to a movie with one of her horrible vapid friends that she hasn't talked to for months. After the movie, she encounters a group of bikers that tried to rape her ass in the first movie, and as she approaches them, a cheesy vision of Edward pops up and tells her to turn back. Long story short, she finds that every time she does something really reckless, visions of Edward appear and tell her not to do them. So she decides that doing reckless things is awesome because it's the only way she can see her pasty beloved fucknut. Along the way, Bella starts spending a lot of time with Jacob, the aforementioned shirtless native american/werewolf... not because she actually wants to spend time with a friend, but because he can repair some junk motorcycles she bought, so that she can ride them really fast, therefore doing something reckless, so Edward can appear and tell her not to do it. Yeah.
Now, I almost like the character Jacob. He's one of the few characters that isn't fucking miserable all the time, and he's one of the only characters that has hobbies and interesting attributes. And he's not covered in gross white powder. Unfortunately, he, of course has a giant boner for Bella, which must mean he's ultimately stupid because there is nothing NOTHING NOTHING likable about Bella fucking Swan.
In fact, let me take a break from summarizing this riveting plot to explain Bella. She is the most objectionable fictional character I have ever encountered. She is never happy, the closest she might get to happy is mildly content, and this isn't often. She has zero hobbies, no quirks, nothing that makes her unique or interesting in the least. She is not a nice person, or fun to be around, in fact Bella pretty much spends all of her time brooding, complaining, and treating everyone around her like they are shit stuck on the bottom of her shoe, especially people who, for some reason, really care about her (like her poor dad). People like Bella in realworldland are thought of, and rightly so, as stuck up bitches who bring everyone down. People like Bella in StephanieMeyersland are loved by everyone, like a fucking queen. What. Even Bella seems to know what a piece of shit she is, because she really just has zero self worth.
So I guess it makes sense that someone like her falls for an equally miserable self hating fucker like Edward. Because Bella is just such a helpless, stupid, clumsy bint, Edward needs to orchestrate her life for her, because she doesn't have a mind of her own protect her. I might have a SCRAP of respect for this movie if the relationship between Edward and Bella was in any way believable, but I get NO sense that there is any love between them. Edward is attracted to her, because her blood is apparently delicious. I get that, sure... sort of... in a way where when I say attraction I mean maybe he should just eat her. Bella's attraction seems to be based on the fact that "he's so beautiful", and therefore she's weirdly hypnotized by him. That's exactly what it feels like, it's like the most unnatural, unaffectionate attraction that ever was. Even when they kiss, it's like Edward just wants to eat her, but he can't because he's too Mormon emo, and Bella just needs SOMETHING to define her life. It's really terrible.
So... thankfully there's really not much else about the actual "plot" of this movie to explain. Bella's unreasonably emo, Edwards gone for the most part, Jacob wants in her pants, but Bella wont even kiss the poor fucker because he's not white she's just so in love with Edward, but still wants to keep Jacob around to shower her in adoration. By the way, she only starts to be kinda sorta attracted to him when he reveals his rippling pecks to her, and she says (I FUCKING QUOTE) 'Wow... you're kind of beautiful'. Yeah, you're not the shallowest bitch to ever grace the earth or anything.
During the last 30 minutes some semblance of plot emerges when Bella dives dramatically into the ocean in a not really suicide attempt, and Edward sees this with his psychic vampire vision, and thinks shes dead, which he... kind of "confirms" when he calls Bella's house while Jacob is there, and Jacobs picks up and says they're all prepping for a funeral (of some other character). Edward decides that he can't live in a world without his beloved dumbass, and wants to commit suicide via public sparkling. I guess Eddy's in Italy with a bunch of foppish Italian vampires who are actually sort of cool because they don't really give a shit about people beyond food (you know, the way vampires SHOULD be?) and they'll kill him if he reveals that he's a vampire or some shit. So Edwards sister tells Bella she needs to scoot over to Italy to show him she's not dead before she does this. Some shit happens, they live, blah blah blah.
So, my ultimate nutshell thoughts of the movie (series, for that matter) is that in twilightland, women dont matter beyond the man they associate themselves with, and it's ok for men to emotionally and physically abuse their woman as long as they love them. It's also ok to treat everyone who cares about you outside of your sig. other like total dogshit, because you "love" your sig. other too much to care about anyone else. The twilight series, as I hear it, only gets MORE bigoted, sexist, and idiotic as it goes. What disturbs me the most about this series is how many people, especially young kids love the characters in it. People think this is ok. As if kids aren't fucked up enough, there's now one more goddamn thing out there leading them to believe that things that are completely wrong, and behaving like a fuck are acceptable. I think anyone who likes twilight legit should feel bad about it. Even people who like it as a guilty pleasure, and know it's bad, I would question, because there is absolutely nothing redeeming about twilight. In fact, when it's not being morally objectionable, or unbelievably stupid, it's boring as fuck. There are more little things about this movie that I could pick apart because they bother me so damn much, but this is already pretty tl;dr, so I will leave it off with this...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWITARDS AAAAHHH.
Edit: Actually, I think I will pick it apart more, because it enrages me so. I'll just try to keep it shortish, in a list format
-Did I mention Bella is a creepy stalker? No? Well she is. I'm convinced that she's actually incapable of feeling love, and believes that unhealthy obsession is love.
-Um... the werewolves are all native americans. As if to say native americans are literally animals. What the fuck is up with that? They also dont wear anything but cutoff jeans, as if to emphasize this.
-NO SEX TILL MARRIAGE LOL
-The token girlfriend/wife of the leader of the werewolves has a face that is half covered in ragged scars. Why? Because werewolves apparently get roid rage, and her boyfriend got really angry with her once, werewolfed it up, and disfigured her. She's still with him because she just loves him so much. It doesn't matter that he FUCKING DISFIGURED HER OUT OF ANGER.
-There's a scene where Bella and Jacob are discussing Jacob being a werewolf. Bella tells him to "just stop it, because it's unnatural" Jacob says he can't help it, he was born that way. Maybe you have to hear it with your own ears, but goddamn if it didn't read to me like a thinly veiled anti-gay comment.
-At the end of the movie Jacob, Edward, and Bella are hangin out, Edward is thanking Jacob for taking care of his property woman while he was gone, and Jacob goes onto tell Edward what he can and cant do with Bella. Bella, of course behaves as if this is totally cool. I mean shit, she doesn't have any thoughts on how other people can treat her, right?
-The way Bella treats her Dad REALLY bothers me. He's the only character I have any empathy for, because he treats her with love and respect, deals with her stupid melodramatic bullshit with utmost sensitivity, and generally bends over backwards for her, and she just does not give a shit about him, like she just couldn't be bothered because he's so insignificant to this fucking vampire she met a year ago. Maybe it's because I love and respect my parents, but I really REALLY object to glamourizing this behavior. Jesus fucking christ.
There's probably more, but my brain is broken as it is. |
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Sometimes people ask me about my writing process. It's not very interesting, actually- it just consists of sitting in front of my computer with a blank text editor file open, writing, deleting, and rearranging dialogue until I hit upon something I think is funny. Some days I get lucky and think of a comic in 30 seconds in the shower that morning, other days I spend five hours trying to get one panel's worth of dialogue to work. Most of the time it's somewhere inbetween those two extremes.
In many cases I'll finish a script and then change parts of it as I draw the comic. In some cases I'll finish a script and then immediately think of a different version of it, and then I have to decide which version to go with. Comic 1538 was one of those situations. Here's the original script I had written for it:
1
Hanners: What IS a "moustache ride" anyway?
Faye: Well see, back in the seventies it was really fashionable for men to have moustaches.
2
Dora: Faye, don't-
Faye: AND ESPECIALLY in the biker community. But motorcycle gangs had a bad reputation, and in order to improve their image, they started staging mass rallies to raise money for local charities.
Hence the term "moustache rides."
3
Hanners: So that shirt...
Faye: I'm guessing it was to celebrate how much money they raised at one of those events.
3.5
Hanners: Wow, I had no idea! Thanks for explaining, Faye!
Faye: No problem.
4
Dora: You realize she's going to be horrified when she goes home and looks up the phrase online.
Faye: Lemme borrow your laptop. I bet I can make a fake Wikipedia entry that'll last long enough to keep her oblivious.
It's funny, but it didn't seem true to Dora's character to just let Faye pull one over on Hannelore like that, so I changed it to the version you see in the finished comic. Anyway I have no idea if this was interesting/useful to anyone but people do sometimes wonder what my scripts look like, so uh there you go? |
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I think it's funny when people complain super loud about how 'hipsters ruined' this or that as though if hipsters would just go away the problem is solved and you can go back to wearing plaid shirts too or something. Because I mean, directionless youths have always appropriated things and made them annoying! You have it easy, oh reader! The Beats had walking caricatures to deal with and Goethe had suicidal poet dandies on his doorstep.
Anyway! I wrote a few, so I split them into parts. |
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I think Thai shrimp paste is something that cats would enjoy, judging by the smell of it. If I had a cat of my own, I would put this pondering to the test.
I made green curry this evening, as I had a ton of cilantro, a stalk of lemongrass, and a finger of ginger to use up before they went bad. A quick stop at H-Mart for a few other ingredients, and then we had some nice 11:15PM dinner. Ah, late nights!
Anyhow, Thai-style green curry with Chinese eggplant = something I'll make again. I passed on fresh turmeric. H-Mart didn't have fresh galangal and no keffir lime leaves to speak of! I would wager that the Vietnamese-Thai grocery near our house may have galangal and keffir lime leaves. I'd hope so, at least. I'll have to try them. I had dry galangal, but still...Current Mood:  full |
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